• Mamme D'Vorah

The Blame Game

Updated: Feb 18, 2020

The Blame Game

On LinkedIn I saw a very inspiring message from a good friend, with a quote of Carl Jung.

After I responded, the subject stuck in my mind. It inspired me to write this short column.

Read more underneath the picture.

Once I was a witness in a situation where people were talking about the relationship between parents and children.

At a certain point someone shared some information about her father, who, as she pointed out, was frugal in complimenting her. It was obvious she was very dissapointed, almost to the point of being angry.

As the conversation continued, someone asked her if she was a type of mother who complimented her children? And her answer was very surprising. It was not necessary to give compliments, as it was obvious enough that she as a mother appreciated her children.

People often do not admit what they themselves have as bad habits. But they see these weaknesses extra sharply in someone else and condemn the other person without any mercy. It is called mirroring.

It was Carl Jung who said it first: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves”. Everyone is our mirror. Our own reflection in others shows us not only who we are, but also how to be better.

The woman in the example was a very irritated about her father, who was sparing in giving compliments, but when the same issue was being brought up in the conversation, but this time about how she herself was dealing with her children in giving compliments,

she suddenly changed her mind, and said it was more then obvious that she loved her children, so their was no need to give compliments.

It is up to us how we deal with the mirror that is presented to us.

We can put on some make-up ( masquerade ) or face the truth in ourselves and become a better person by acknowledge it and work on it.

This is a message on my new blog https://devorahcoaching.blogspot.com/

Short Columns to ponder about.

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Cathy Meijer